What I've Learned

Over the past four months, I have been learning so much about marriage, relationships, and love. By no means am I a professional, we'll leave that to couples who have been married 50 years. I'd say I'm quite the amateur. But compared to several months ago, I have learned so much. If you would have asked me six months ago what the most important quality is in a marriage, I probably would have said commitment or good communication. Now, I'd say those are definitely in the top 5, but I feel that the #1 most important quality a marriage can have is friendship. I have come to find that marriage (my marriage at least) is like 70% friendship and 30% passion/romance. Of course there are many other factors of a marriage, but I think that's the ratio of friendship to passion and romance. When it all comes down to it, your young, hot body is going to get old and saggy one day (haha, gross right?) and that attraction won't be there unless you have a solid friendship as a foundation. You have to like each other, not just love each other. And despite what the movies make you think, after time you can't be passionate 100% of the time with your lover/husband/boyfriend/whatever. I'm confident most single girls reading this will think this is absolutely horrific, but Sean is my buddy. Sometimes, we'll just be hanging out and I almost forget we are married. I'm just chillin with my best friend. 

There are a lot more ugly pictures of me and Sean, but these are the only ones I dare post.

I believe passion is temporary. Not romance. Romance can last forever. But I don't think romance is what most people think it is. What do I know? But for me (a twitter-patted newlywed), romance is when Sean randomly tells me how beautiful I look when I'm wearing no make up, glasses, my hair is in a frizzy knot, and I'm wearing his baggy clothes. It's when we're laying in bed with his arm around me and we stay up all night talking and laughing. Romance is when he plops his head in my lap and gives me puppy eyes that say "can I have a back rub?" It's when I come home from a long day at school and work and find a little stuffed animal puppy Sean surprised me with since he can't buy me a real one until we move into a house. It's our daily debates about random, pointless topics. I love that Sean and I debate and bicker often (there's a difference between that and arguing, we hardly argue). I think it's how we show that we care enough to tell each other the other person is wrong. It keeps things interesting. I have always loved this quote: "Arguing doesn't mean you hate each other, it means that you care enough to point out someones faults and help them put things right, if you stop arguing it means you've stopped caring." -Unknown.
Maybe I'm dead wrong on all of this stuff, we'll see as time passes and I learn more and more. This is just a ramble of some of my thoughts lately.

To conclude my randomness, here is a quote from a book called 7 Myths of Working Mothers by Suzanne Venker. It doesn't really have anything to do with what I was talking about earlier because Sean and I don't have children, but I think I can stretch it and make them fit together a little bit. It's always been one of my all-time favorite quotes.

"Most couples find that what they thought was romantic before they had children pales in comparison to their new found sense of romance as parents. Candlelight dinners are nice, yes. But they can't compare to the glance between a man and a women over the head of a sleeping child. They can't compare to the rush of emotion a women feels as she watches her husband make her child laugh. As Dale Hanson Bourke writes, "I wish my friend could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful always to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play 'bad guys' with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic." And this is perhaps one of the greatest problems in young marriages. Because we are so caught up in here and now, in the fun and spontaneity of relationships, we overlook the romance of family. Indeed, moments of passion are fleeting, but real love lasts forever." 

Fire at Parkside

Well, I learned a valuable lesson last night (I guess it was this morning). At 4 am, Sean and I woke up startled by the sound of someone banging on the doors in our apartment complex. At first, we thought people were being loud and obnoxious so we tried going back to bed. Sean fell back asleep, but I kept hearing people yell and pound on doors. I was able wake up enough to hear someone yell "Police!" so I woke Sean up and he went to see what was going on. They were evacuating our entire apartment complex because of a fire. There was smoke everywhere; we could hardly see anything. The cops asked us to get what we needed and leave immediately. I ran around our apartment in circles looking like a mad woman in a sate of delirium panicking about what I needed to grab. Waking up at 4 am from police yelling at you to evacuate, with smoke surrounding you will really make you frantic. I started to plan how we could pack up our entire apartment, but Sean made me drop everything and leave. I grabbed my journal and my purse, Sean grabbed his wallet and iPad (isn't he thoughtful? it's okay, he's a dude) and we ran out the door. The cops told us to go to the park next to our apartment and wait for further instruction. Everyone was in their pajamas, wrapped up in blankets still trying to grasp what was going on. We stood there in the snow in 34 degree weather and I started to think about all the things in our apartment that I knew would be a tragedy to lose. Our brand new couches and flat screen TV crossed my mind, but those things can be replaced. I couldn't stop thinking about my family albums sitting on our bookshelf, the dried flowers Sean gave me throughout our year of dating that I couldn't throw away, letters from my parents, and Sean's box of mission journals and letters. I know my entire blog is filled with lame, corny posts, but last night at 4 am in the freezing cold, I learned what really matters. What matters is that my husband was safely next to me. What matters is old pictures, letters, and memories, not electronics and nice furniture. I was literally panicking because I knew I couldn't lose those things, but Sean calmed me down. The fire would really have to get out of control to reach our apartment on the top floor.

Three firetrucks, one ambulance, and so many cop cars I didn't care to count. I know this is the worst picture ever. It was dark, I only had my phone for a camera, and I really didn't care to get any closer to that awful smoke that burns your lungs. After standing in the cold for a while, a cop gathered us together, explained that we would probably have to find other living arrangements for a while, and walked us a few blocks to a church where we could wait in warmth for more information. Our apartment manager, Sam, is really awesome. He brought us donuts and water. After an hour and a half of waiting, we found out that there was a car fire in our parking garage. Someone stole a white truck, used it for some kind of an extensive burglary, then randomly parked in our garage and purposefully set on fire. Crazy. They were able to get it under control and our entire apartment complex was perfectly safe. How that happened, I don't know. Sean and I were certain we would at least have smoke damage. When we got back to our apartment, the outside smelled awful, but inside was completely untouched. We are pretty dang lucky if you ask me. We tried going back to bed, but we were too worked up so we watched infomercials because it's the only thing on TV at 7 am. I'm ashamed to say we almost bought an orGREENic frying pan, I think the smoke got to us. I'm just so happy that we didn't lose our priceless possessions. We are so blessed.

I got married and became a mother

No, despite all the confusion, I am not pregnant. I love teasing Sean by telling him that when we got married, I became a wife and mother. If you know Sean in the slightest, you know what I'm talking about. Every Sunday, I have to stuff my purse full of candy and fruit snacks so my little boy... I mean husband, can make it through church. Every Saturday and Sunday morning while we are getting ready for the day, Sean will give me a goofy look and say "I bet I can get ready faster than you". Let's face it, I'm a girl. It takes me longer to get ready, and it should. But when Sean says this, I get ready as fast as possible so I can prove him wrong. I'll tell you now, I never win. Want to know why? Sean hides my clothes. Yeah. Now do you get what I mean by the title of this post? When I get out of the shower, I like to go to our closet and pick out my outfit for the day and lay it on our bed. Then I get ready. While I'm getting ready, Sean will hide each item of clothing I plan to wear in a different spot of our room so there is no possible way I could get ready faster than him (he gets really creative, you'd be surprised the places he can fit things). He loves to watch me try to find my clothes. If I find them faster than he wants, he'll grab them out of my hand and run away with them. He thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Doesn't it sound like I'm describing a little boy? Let me be clear, I'm not complaining. I absolutely love when he acts this way (though I try not to show it). And I have to be honest, it's one of the millions of reasons why I love him. He takes such good care of me, I like it when I can be a little motherly and take care of my man.

Today was our 3 month anniversary. It feels like so much longer than that. Almost as if I've known him forever. I'll tell ya, it's the happiest 3 months of my life. We didn't really celebrate, but Sean cooked my all time favorite meal: his spaghetti. No one makes spaghetti like Sean. It's the best you'll ever have, trust me. Anyways, I just had to brag yet again about how my husband is so funny, sweet, and an incredible cook. I sure love him.

Family

In my last post, I talked a little bit about the influence of friends in our life. I was going to talk about family too, but I decided they deserve their own post. I can't have this "journal" and fail to recognize the most important people in Sean's and my life.
Unfortunately, I don't have the time to go through each and every person in our family and talk about how incredible they are (I could go on forever).

Here's my family: 

Quite honestly, the most incredible people you will meet. They are always amazing me with their generosity and kindness to everyone around them. I try to be more like them everyday. If there is one thing my family is good at, it's using humor to get through every trial. I have the best family in the world.

Here is Sean's family: (I don't like calling them Sean's family, they are my family now)

I can't say enough good about them. I am amazed at how quickly they welcomed me into their family. From the day I met them, they have made me feel so welcome and included. Last Christmas, after only 6 months of Sean and I dating, I was so surprised that they all bought me Christmas presents as if I was another family member. They are so wonderful.

If there is one thing Sean and I are "unhealthily obsessed" with, it's our nieces and nephew. We can't get enough of them. 

I have no choice but to talk about them for a second. My sweet, perfect niece Leila is the most loving little girl you will meet. Do you know any 2 year old girls who wipe their mouths with a napkin? Even when there is no food on her face? Ever since she was a baby, she has always chewed her food with her mouth closed. What little kids do that? None. She is such a little lady. She's always giving hugs and kisses. I miss her constantly when I'm not around her.

Our nephew Trey is the most darling little boy. Sean and I were so excited when he was born last January. He's a little charmer, there is nothing more fun than playing with this sweet boy. He's always so happy and friendly. I think he'll be quite the ladies man when he grows up. Lately I have been noticing how much Trey adores Sean. If he hears Sean's voice, he pops right up and gives Sean a big smile. Those two are so darling together.

Tori is such a cute little thing. If you hold her hands and walk her around, she could go for miles, and she does it on her little tip-toes. She's always playing (and competing) with Trey, so she grows up so fast. She was sitting up and standing way before most kids her age. Tori is always wearing the cutest clothes. She is the sweetest little girl in the world. 

We have the best family ever.