He Never Loses

Last night, Sean and I were bored out of our minds, my books and his iPad games weren't entertaining us as well as we'd hoped, so we pulled out our electronic Monopoly game (the cool one with credit cards-not paper money) and played a loooong game of Monopoly. I think it lasted 4 hours. Ever since I met Sean, he's bragged about how he never loses a game of Monopoly. We've played 3 times together with friends and he really doesn't lose. Last night, I was determined to beat him just so he'd stop bragging. Well, guess what... He won. Again. I have to say I put up a good fight and kept the game going a really long time, but he really never loses at Monopoly, I'll just accept that fact. He has some secret strategy, I cannot figure out. Or maybe he's just lucky...

Done!

I have just finished my last final! It was all essays, none of that easy multiple choice/true false stuff. Did I mention I'm fairly confident I got 100% on it? Yeah. Awesome. Now, what to do with all my free time? Reading reading reading! I'm looking forward to Matched by Ally Condie, The Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, and for the 4th time, Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, my all time favorite book that I never get sick of and am anxiously awaiting the movie in March (my sister and I are proudly going to the midnight showing, maybe we'll be one of those geeky people that dress up... okay just kidding). If you haven't read it, do. It's incredible. I commonly hear it being compared to Twilight, and I must say frankly, that is currently my biggest pet peeve. People don't know what they are talking about. Twilight doesn't hold a candle to these books. And if the movie turns into another teenage-girl-craze of "Team Gale" and "Team Peeta" I just might die. Nothing would bother me more...

I may or may not have this trailer memorized. So excited.

Anyways, back to my topic... school. I just finished finals and I am taking a step back to realize that I am unbelievably excited that I will be graduating in a year! December of 2012, a semester earlier than I am scheduled to graduate. Woo! It's going to be one heck of a busy year, but I have the best major ever: Public Health-Epidemiology. Why do you ask? Because it is fascinating-classes are never boring, applicable to not just my future career but my life- signs of diseases & other health related problems... seriously I could list the things it teaches me all day. It's teaching me how to keep Sean & my future kids healthy, and nothing is more important to me than a healthy husband & kids. It also challenges me intellectually, my classes are hard! Lots and lots of statistics/math, memorization, getting down to the nitty gritty details of each type of cancer, etc. In spite of this, it's do-able. Definitely not even close to the hardest major at BYU, but I still feel like I'm being challenged. Another reason my major rocks, there is an extremely high demand for epidemiologists and it's only going to get higher, it hopefully won't be too hard finding a job! Now, I am considering getting a masters in epidemiology. There are a lot of pro's and con's, but it's definitely a possibility. I never thought I'd want to do more school, but it's coming to the time when a Bachelor's degree isn't worth what it used to be. Do I want to delay having kids? I've wanted a baby since we got married (actually, let's face it, I've been baby hungry since high school). But Sean & I agreed to wait 3-5 years. (I say 3, Sean says 5. It will probably be 3, haha). I have time to get a Master Degree. But (this is terrible to say) is it a waste of time and tuition money if I won't be the money maker of the family? No education is a waste of time, but I need to be practical here. Thoughts?

Random side note: I'm doing the 12 Days of Christmas for Sean. I started last night, and I am sooo excited for the next 11 days! Probably more excited than him... I've been doing a lot of creative thinking and I have found 12 extremely cute ideas for each 12 days. Maybe I will post about it when it's over.

Well, enough of my ramblings about school, Hunger Games, and Christmas. I'm off to enjoy my break and start my first book!

Kristy

Exactly four years ago, my best friend of 5 years passed away from a sledding accident. Technically, she passed away early in the morning on December 2, but the accident happened today, and to me, Kristy died today. I lost her today. I don't really care to talk about her death, but I would like to share a few memories I have from the time I knew her because she is so special and I know that through her example she can make an impact on your life and inspire you, even if you never knew her. I want to celebrate her life by sharing a few memories.

• I'll never forget the day we met. First day of Junior High, gym class. In the locker room, all the girls were too scared and embarrassed to shower, but Kristy and I stripped down to our underwear and ran around the showers like crazy people.
• She loved to dance more than anything in the world. Whether it was a school dance or a stake dance, she attended every single one and danced her heart out. 
• She had these jeans with a couple holes in the bum area, but she wouldn't stop wearing them because they were her favorite jeans and she always said they made her butt look cute. So she'd just wear cute underwear and hope no one would notice.
• Our birthday's are one week apart, so we'd always celebrate together. One year we went to the Taylor Swift concert with a few other friends.

• Whenever she got a fortune cookie, she'd put the fortune in the back of her phone by the battery. She believed it would come true if she put it there.
• She wore flip flops year round, even in the snow.
• She had the best taste in music, and she loved singing it as loudly as possible. 
• She always put family first. One time, her mom took us and other friends to the Festival of Trees. We got a little rambunctious, and Kristy's mom told us we needed to calm down. Instead of admitting that we were wrong, we got defensive and left (we were stupid teenagers). But Kristy stayed with her mom. She always put family above friends. Some weekends, I'd call her and want to hang out, but she'd say she wanted to stay home to watch chick flicks and make treats with her mom. She's such an example of priorities.
• She was the epitome of a true friend. On the one year anniversary of my mother's death, I went to school and none of my friends remembered, how could I expect them to? I went through my day, but I didn't tell anyone. I came home from school and found a letter on my porch. It was from Kristy. She remembered. It was the sweetest note. I still don't know how she remembered that day, but she did and it meant the entire world to me. I'll never throw that note away.
• Another time, we went with a few other girls to the mall. We went into a prom dress/wedding dress store and all the girls tried on these gorgeous, fancy dresses. Kristy was definitely one who liked to have fun more than she liked to be serious and get all pretty. She found these matching ugly, fluffy dresses and we tried them on together. They made us laugh so hard.

•  Her favorite movie was Sleepless in Seattle. Her favorite color was purple.
• In 8th grade, we had to do a science project. After spending hours on the project, we got distracted, and took "Charlie's Angels pictures".

• She had a lot of school spirit (even though we were just in high school). She was on Viewmont's swimming team and kicked butt at the 500 meter race. I also have so many memories with her at football games. I'm pretty sure she attended every single football game, even the Junior Varsity ones. (I think she may have just liked the football players, haha.)
• Her favorite food was fruit, mainly watermelon.
• She had a run down old car she named Eddie. We had a weird, close bond with that car. I have countless memories riding around Centerville with the windows rolled down, blasting music, singing at the top of our lungs.

 

• Her favorite song was "Here (in your arms)" by Hellogoodbye, probably because it is a great dancing song. Our song was "Toxic" by Brittney Spears because we found out we were the only two losers left in the world who liked it. 
• She was a camera-obsessed kind of person. She cherished every memory by constantly taking pictures.
• She wore her pearl earrings all the time.
• When we were 15, she made me and a few other friends go trick or treating with her, because she believed you are never too old to trick or treat.
• She was never anyone but herself; no matter who was around. And she was extremely honest and blunt. If she thought you did something stupid, she'd straight up tell you. I loved having a friend like that, it's so refreshing.
• Of all the people I know, she is probably the most spontaneous person I've ever met. If you've ever seen the old TV show "I Love Lucy", she reminds me of Lucy because of her crazy, spontaneous ideas.

Kristy is the kind of person who is impossible to forget. She lived her life to the fullest. In her short, 16 years of life, she experienced more than most people do in an entire lifetime. She held strong to her beliefs, and never let a day go by without doing something unforgettable. There is so much more I could say about her, but this quote from her tells you exactly who she is.

"here's the thing about my high school: you're cool if you sing & are in the musical. I'm neither of those. I can't sing, I can't dance, I have no hand-eye coordination, I just swim. and I don't die my hair, fake bake, rat my hair, wear 10 lbs of make up, obsess over country, or like fry sauce. it just isn't my thing."-Kristy Lee Findley

I love you Kris.

What I've Learned

Over the past four months, I have been learning so much about marriage, relationships, and love. By no means am I a professional, we'll leave that to couples who have been married 50 years. I'd say I'm quite the amateur. But compared to several months ago, I have learned so much. If you would have asked me six months ago what the most important quality is in a marriage, I probably would have said commitment or good communication. Now, I'd say those are definitely in the top 5, but I feel that the #1 most important quality a marriage can have is friendship. I have come to find that marriage (my marriage at least) is like 70% friendship and 30% passion/romance. Of course there are many other factors of a marriage, but I think that's the ratio of friendship to passion and romance. When it all comes down to it, your young, hot body is going to get old and saggy one day (haha, gross right?) and that attraction won't be there unless you have a solid friendship as a foundation. You have to like each other, not just love each other. And despite what the movies make you think, after time you can't be passionate 100% of the time with your lover/husband/boyfriend/whatever. I'm confident most single girls reading this will think this is absolutely horrific, but Sean is my buddy. Sometimes, we'll just be hanging out and I almost forget we are married. I'm just chillin with my best friend. 

There are a lot more ugly pictures of me and Sean, but these are the only ones I dare post.

I believe passion is temporary. Not romance. Romance can last forever. But I don't think romance is what most people think it is. What do I know? But for me (a twitter-patted newlywed), romance is when Sean randomly tells me how beautiful I look when I'm wearing no make up, glasses, my hair is in a frizzy knot, and I'm wearing his baggy clothes. It's when we're laying in bed with his arm around me and we stay up all night talking and laughing. Romance is when he plops his head in my lap and gives me puppy eyes that say "can I have a back rub?" It's when I come home from a long day at school and work and find a little stuffed animal puppy Sean surprised me with since he can't buy me a real one until we move into a house. It's our daily debates about random, pointless topics. I love that Sean and I debate and bicker often (there's a difference between that and arguing, we hardly argue). I think it's how we show that we care enough to tell each other the other person is wrong. It keeps things interesting. I have always loved this quote: "Arguing doesn't mean you hate each other, it means that you care enough to point out someones faults and help them put things right, if you stop arguing it means you've stopped caring." -Unknown.
Maybe I'm dead wrong on all of this stuff, we'll see as time passes and I learn more and more. This is just a ramble of some of my thoughts lately.

To conclude my randomness, here is a quote from a book called 7 Myths of Working Mothers by Suzanne Venker. It doesn't really have anything to do with what I was talking about earlier because Sean and I don't have children, but I think I can stretch it and make them fit together a little bit. It's always been one of my all-time favorite quotes.

"Most couples find that what they thought was romantic before they had children pales in comparison to their new found sense of romance as parents. Candlelight dinners are nice, yes. But they can't compare to the glance between a man and a women over the head of a sleeping child. They can't compare to the rush of emotion a women feels as she watches her husband make her child laugh. As Dale Hanson Bourke writes, "I wish my friend could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful always to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play 'bad guys' with his son. I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband again for reasons she would now find very unromantic." And this is perhaps one of the greatest problems in young marriages. Because we are so caught up in here and now, in the fun and spontaneity of relationships, we overlook the romance of family. Indeed, moments of passion are fleeting, but real love lasts forever." 

Fire at Parkside

Well, I learned a valuable lesson last night (I guess it was this morning). At 4 am, Sean and I woke up startled by the sound of someone banging on the doors in our apartment complex. At first, we thought people were being loud and obnoxious so we tried going back to bed. Sean fell back asleep, but I kept hearing people yell and pound on doors. I was able wake up enough to hear someone yell "Police!" so I woke Sean up and he went to see what was going on. They were evacuating our entire apartment complex because of a fire. There was smoke everywhere; we could hardly see anything. The cops asked us to get what we needed and leave immediately. I ran around our apartment in circles looking like a mad woman in a sate of delirium panicking about what I needed to grab. Waking up at 4 am from police yelling at you to evacuate, with smoke surrounding you will really make you frantic. I started to plan how we could pack up our entire apartment, but Sean made me drop everything and leave. I grabbed my journal and my purse, Sean grabbed his wallet and iPad (isn't he thoughtful? it's okay, he's a dude) and we ran out the door. The cops told us to go to the park next to our apartment and wait for further instruction. Everyone was in their pajamas, wrapped up in blankets still trying to grasp what was going on. We stood there in the snow in 34 degree weather and I started to think about all the things in our apartment that I knew would be a tragedy to lose. Our brand new couches and flat screen TV crossed my mind, but those things can be replaced. I couldn't stop thinking about my family albums sitting on our bookshelf, the dried flowers Sean gave me throughout our year of dating that I couldn't throw away, letters from my parents, and Sean's box of mission journals and letters. I know my entire blog is filled with lame, corny posts, but last night at 4 am in the freezing cold, I learned what really matters. What matters is that my husband was safely next to me. What matters is old pictures, letters, and memories, not electronics and nice furniture. I was literally panicking because I knew I couldn't lose those things, but Sean calmed me down. The fire would really have to get out of control to reach our apartment on the top floor.

Three firetrucks, one ambulance, and so many cop cars I didn't care to count. I know this is the worst picture ever. It was dark, I only had my phone for a camera, and I really didn't care to get any closer to that awful smoke that burns your lungs. After standing in the cold for a while, a cop gathered us together, explained that we would probably have to find other living arrangements for a while, and walked us a few blocks to a church where we could wait in warmth for more information. Our apartment manager, Sam, is really awesome. He brought us donuts and water. After an hour and a half of waiting, we found out that there was a car fire in our parking garage. Someone stole a white truck, used it for some kind of an extensive burglary, then randomly parked in our garage and purposefully set on fire. Crazy. They were able to get it under control and our entire apartment complex was perfectly safe. How that happened, I don't know. Sean and I were certain we would at least have smoke damage. When we got back to our apartment, the outside smelled awful, but inside was completely untouched. We are pretty dang lucky if you ask me. We tried going back to bed, but we were too worked up so we watched infomercials because it's the only thing on TV at 7 am. I'm ashamed to say we almost bought an orGREENic frying pan, I think the smoke got to us. I'm just so happy that we didn't lose our priceless possessions. We are so blessed.

I got married and became a mother

No, despite all the confusion, I am not pregnant. I love teasing Sean by telling him that when we got married, I became a wife and mother. If you know Sean in the slightest, you know what I'm talking about. Every Sunday, I have to stuff my purse full of candy and fruit snacks so my little boy... I mean husband, can make it through church. Every Saturday and Sunday morning while we are getting ready for the day, Sean will give me a goofy look and say "I bet I can get ready faster than you". Let's face it, I'm a girl. It takes me longer to get ready, and it should. But when Sean says this, I get ready as fast as possible so I can prove him wrong. I'll tell you now, I never win. Want to know why? Sean hides my clothes. Yeah. Now do you get what I mean by the title of this post? When I get out of the shower, I like to go to our closet and pick out my outfit for the day and lay it on our bed. Then I get ready. While I'm getting ready, Sean will hide each item of clothing I plan to wear in a different spot of our room so there is no possible way I could get ready faster than him (he gets really creative, you'd be surprised the places he can fit things). He loves to watch me try to find my clothes. If I find them faster than he wants, he'll grab them out of my hand and run away with them. He thinks it's the funniest thing ever. Doesn't it sound like I'm describing a little boy? Let me be clear, I'm not complaining. I absolutely love when he acts this way (though I try not to show it). And I have to be honest, it's one of the millions of reasons why I love him. He takes such good care of me, I like it when I can be a little motherly and take care of my man.

Today was our 3 month anniversary. It feels like so much longer than that. Almost as if I've known him forever. I'll tell ya, it's the happiest 3 months of my life. We didn't really celebrate, but Sean cooked my all time favorite meal: his spaghetti. No one makes spaghetti like Sean. It's the best you'll ever have, trust me. Anyways, I just had to brag yet again about how my husband is so funny, sweet, and an incredible cook. I sure love him.

Family

In my last post, I talked a little bit about the influence of friends in our life. I was going to talk about family too, but I decided they deserve their own post. I can't have this "journal" and fail to recognize the most important people in Sean's and my life.
Unfortunately, I don't have the time to go through each and every person in our family and talk about how incredible they are (I could go on forever).

Here's my family: 

Quite honestly, the most incredible people you will meet. They are always amazing me with their generosity and kindness to everyone around them. I try to be more like them everyday. If there is one thing my family is good at, it's using humor to get through every trial. I have the best family in the world.

Here is Sean's family: (I don't like calling them Sean's family, they are my family now)

I can't say enough good about them. I am amazed at how quickly they welcomed me into their family. From the day I met them, they have made me feel so welcome and included. Last Christmas, after only 6 months of Sean and I dating, I was so surprised that they all bought me Christmas presents as if I was another family member. They are so wonderful.

If there is one thing Sean and I are "unhealthily obsessed" with, it's our nieces and nephew. We can't get enough of them. 

I have no choice but to talk about them for a second. My sweet, perfect niece Leila is the most loving little girl you will meet. Do you know any 2 year old girls who wipe their mouths with a napkin? Even when there is no food on her face? Ever since she was a baby, she has always chewed her food with her mouth closed. What little kids do that? None. She is such a little lady. She's always giving hugs and kisses. I miss her constantly when I'm not around her.

Our nephew Trey is the most darling little boy. Sean and I were so excited when he was born last January. He's a little charmer, there is nothing more fun than playing with this sweet boy. He's always so happy and friendly. I think he'll be quite the ladies man when he grows up. Lately I have been noticing how much Trey adores Sean. If he hears Sean's voice, he pops right up and gives Sean a big smile. Those two are so darling together.

Tori is such a cute little thing. If you hold her hands and walk her around, she could go for miles, and she does it on her little tip-toes. She's always playing (and competing) with Trey, so she grows up so fast. She was sitting up and standing way before most kids her age. Tori is always wearing the cutest clothes. She is the sweetest little girl in the world. 

We have the best family ever.

Our Story Continued... Again (The last one)

I know this whole blog is about Sean and I, but I have to take a minute and talk about my friends. Could I have better friends? No. As I have been writing about 'Our Story' I've realized none of this would have been possible without my four best friends.

I'll start from left to right. Monica: We met at age 5 and grew up together. She was there the day I met Bryn (who introduced me to Sean) and she was there the day I met Sean! Chloe: When Sean and I were still in our "pre-dating" stage, she always encouraged me to follow my heart and go for him despite all the things that were in the way. She also was sweet enough to go on a whole lot of double dates with Sean's random friends. Bryn: I'm pretty sure I would have never met Sean if I had never met Bryn. (I'm sure we would have found each other, but Bryn made this all possible). Growing up, Bryn was there for me in all my trials. When I first started dating Sean, she really took care of me and made sure Sean was being good to me and gave me what I needed. Ashley: She was there the day I met Sean too. I'm so happy she invited me to go to Zupa's with her that day. While Sean and I were getting really close during Spring semester, just her and I were rooming together. Sean, Ashley, and I spent a whole lot of time together. She always says she watched us fall in love, and she really did. I really love these girls. They mean so much to me. I wish I could take the time to mention all my wonderful friends that have come and gone throughout my life, because honestly, none of this is possible without any of them either. They have shaped me into who I am. You know who you are. I love you guys.

Dating continued:
There are soo many stories I want to write about while we dated. But I'll just share one more quick one. Sean and I were hanging out in his sister's basement, and we started wrestling. Well, Sean had me pinned, and he was chewing gum. Can you guess what happened next? I doubt it, because I was appalled. He spit his gum on my neck. ON MY NECK! This nasty gum was just chillin there on my neck. Sean thought it was so hilarious. Later that day I got him back (unintentionally). We were walking to the couch and he was behind me poking my back, lightly pushing me, being the teaser he is. On an impulse, with my back to him I grabbed his shorts and pretended to pull them down to scare him, except I fell down on my butt and the shorts came down with me. I was so embarrassed! I quickly covered my eyes (I didn't see anything, don't worry) and Sean pulled his pants up. We laughed about it for days.

How We Got Engaged:

Like I mentioned earlier, Sean and I were never on the same page with the whole marriage thing. He's going to get mad at me for saying this because "it makes him look desperate", but he is far from desperate. I'm pretty sure I have been the one desperate for him our whole relationship. But he was hinting marriage around December-ish, January and I just wasn't ready. I knew I loved him, but marriage is a huge decision. I prayed about it daily and the Friday before Valentine's Day it hit me. Sean made me happier than I had ever been in my entire life. I knew I could marry him and be the happiest I could be for eternity. But Sean started feeling a little uneasy. He loved me, but he was aware of the huge decision we were making. Finally in May we both were ready. We didn't talk about engagement much. My whole life I wanted to be surprised when I was proposed to. I didn't want to be like one of those couples who had the ring picked out and knew exactly how it was going to happen. He knew that too, so we really avoided the subject of engagement. We talked a lot about marriage, but not engagement. He really wanted to surprise me, and he sure did. I didn't have any idea it was coming. It was my birthday May 22. He had spoiled me all weekend, and my birthday fell on a Sunday. Remember where we had our first kiss? The bridge in Rock Canyon. Sean and I had been there several times since and we called it "our bridge". He took me there to have a little picnic in a pavilion close by. It was a gorgeous day. I could tell Sean was acting a little different, but I still had absolutely no idea what was happening. 

We forgot a bottle opener for our sparkling cider, so Sean had to open it with the table and it exploded all over. 

After our picnic, we took all our stuff back to the car and walked up to our bridge. While we were walking to our bridge, he told me about a time before we hardly even knew each other.  He was at my apartment and I walked out of my room in old pajamas, no makeup, and glasses. He said he couldn't get over how beautiful I looked. I don't even remember this happening. He kept saying all these sweet romantic things that made me melt. We stayed on our bridge for a little while talking (Sean was waiting for some people to leave) then he asked me "How much do you love me?" I said, "A whole lot. How much do you love me?" "Enough to do this" He knelt on one knee and asked me to marry him. Before he could finish asking, I jumped up and down and yelled "Yes! Yes!" like a little girl. After that is a blur (a wonderful blur). Calling our family and friends, picking out my ring the next day, planning a wedding with my sister in 2 1/2 months, and the perfect wedding day of my dreams. I look back and know that God really has a plan for me. Ever since I was 14 years old, he's been leading me to the love of my life. I believe in soul mates, and Sean is my soul mate. I am one happy girl.

Our Story Continued

Here I am, blogging again when I should be writing a paper. In my defense, this is developing my writing skills, right?

Our First Kiss:
It was June 7, 2010. No, I am not one of those girls who documents every single kiss she ever had (...not that there's anything wrong with that). I was just able to look back and figure out what day it was because of surrounding events. Sean and his friend Logan drove from Rexburg straight to our apartment. Sean dropped Logan off to hang out with my roommates while we went to the theater to watch Prince of Persia. The whole night I knew he had plans to kiss me. Sean claims he didn't have any plans, but I could tell from the way he was acting. After the movie, we took a walk up Rock Canyon. There is a little bridge over a river we walked to and talked for a while. It was there that he kissed me. Apparently we kissed a little more than Sean was expecting. He thought it would be a little peck, but I sure surprised him. While we were on the bridge, we heard a noise in the bushes, I got scared and despite Sean's wishes, we left. We started driving back to my apartment, but I saw sprinklers and told Sean how much I love running through them. He pulled the car over and we ran through the sprinklers together. Lame? Well I think it's cute. I came home from the date feeling really thrilled, but also guilty. Remember that girl that liked Sean, and the guy that liked me? I wasn't sure how this was going to turn out without someone getting hurt. I talked to Ashley about it and she was sure it would all work out okay.Well, it actually did. I was able to talk to the girl and she was so mature and sweet about the entire situation. I was still stressed out about the guy though... A few days later we went on another date, but it was a double date this time with my friend Chloe and his friend Logan. These boys were so creative, they wrote three date ideas down on three pieces of paper, then we picked one and did that activity. The one we picked was playing games in a park. To this day, I still don't know what the other two were. While we were playing games, it started raining, so we put the blanket on top of us...

The four of us spent a lot of time together.

How He Became "Mine":
Sean asked me to visit him in Idaho again, so I took Chloe and Bryn with me this time. We had a complete blast! We went to parties, climbed on top of a train to watch the sunset, and hiked 6 miles to a beautiful lake with an awesome rope swing.

Can I be totally lame and cheesy for a minute? While Sean and I sat at the campfire by the lake (see picture above) all I could think about was a Taylor Swift song called "Mine". It fit our situation perfectly. We were sitting by the water with his arm around me and I knew he was the "best thing that's ever been mine" (even though he wasn't mine yet). 

While we were in Idaho, Sean and I had many, MANY long conversations about whether or not we wanted to become "official" or if we wanted to date other people. I remember one night at his apartment in Idaho after watching Across the Universe everyone fell asleep and Sean carried me to his room so we could talk about us. We both knew we wanted to exclusively date each other, but I told him I couldn't do that until I was able to talk to my 'long distance guy' so I wouldn't hurt him. Being the sweetheart he is, he understood and allowed me some time. Little did he know it would take about two months. I was really scared to give my heart to someone. Fast forward two months, Sean flew out to Colorado to be a groomsman at his step brothers wedding. While he was gone, I sent this guy a letter and told him I had met someone else. When Sean came home from Colorado, on July 4th I surprised him with the good news. That same day while we were sitting on the letter "U" in the mountains (one of our favorite places), we became "official", "boyfriend and girlfriend", "exclusively dating" whatever you'd like to call it. He was "Mine".

How We Said the L Word:

When we started dating, we were definitely in that puppy love stage, but we never said "I love you". We both had the exact same viewpoints on that: It's special; when you don't mean it, don't ever say it. When you mean it, say it a lot. We both knew we weren't in love yet, so we never said it. We really had a good time together. Sean's semester ended mid-July and he moved to Salt Lake to his sister's place. I was living at home for the summer in Centerville. There was a 20 minute drive between the two of us, but one of us drove it every single day. Yes, we spent everyday together. We went boating, went to arcades, took walks, hiked, went to hot springs and hot tubs, drove to a cute town called Daybreak (where we had our bridal pictures taken a year later), went to parks, and spent a lot of time with his sister and brother in law Ashley and Karl. When we weren't together, we were talking on the phone or texting. Obsessed with each other? Yes! And dang proud of it.

At Daybreak, can you see how happy I am? I knew Sean was special because whenever I was next to him in a picture, I got a huge, really cheesy smile.

This picture right above is quite a hilarious story. It was a Sunday afternoon, and we took a drive to this pretty river. We were just playing around and Sean found this 'playground'. It really wasn't a playground, but he made it one. It was a little area of wheels and bars. He was sitting on a ledge, grabbed a bar, and swung on it. Well, he swung really fast, right into a pole.... that went between his legs. Poor Sean was on the floor almost in tears and I was up on the ledge laughing so hard I had tears too. Well, he recovered, and we were able to get this picture of us. On to the purpose of this part of the story, how we said the L word. About 2 weeks before we told each other, I knew I loved him. I can't pinpoint one moment when I found out I loved him, it just came to me gradually. It was a feeling I had never experienced before. Every time I was about to see him, I'd get so nervous and have crazy butterflies, but the second I saw him I immediately became calm and relaxed. He made me so comfortable. He was my best friend. I knew I loved him when I realized I wanted the very best for Sean, even if it wasn't me. I wasn't going to be the first to say it, so I just waited patiently until he did. I knew I loved him and I could say it back whenever he was ready. It happened on a Sunday afternoon, I can't remember when, probably around the month of August or maybe September. We were in Ashley's basement (Sean's room for 6 months) falling asleep to a movie. I was half asleep when Sean said "I think I love you." I woke up fast. Real fast. My heart was racing. All I could say was, "Really?" He said he did, and I told him I loved him too. From that day on, we have said "I Love You" about a million times a day. It never gets old. No matter if I hear it in person, over the phone, even in texting, or when he mumbles it while he falls asleep, it means the world to me.

Dating:
I could talk about our year of dating for hours. I'm just going to share a couple of good memories. Something I'm so happy we did, is we never gave up. Not once did we break up, or even have a conversation thinking about breaking up. I don't think we've even said that word. Ever since we started exclusively dating on July 4th, we've been in it together. We had a lot of difficulties, problems, and differences to get over. It hasn't been easy, but we've been in it for the long haul. Even before we thought we'd get married, we were fully committed to each other. As for the whole marriage thing, we were not in sync. When he wanted to get married, I didn't. When I was finally ready, he wasn't. I'm a big believer in timing. When we were both ready, we got engaged, but that's a story for later. One of my favorite memories with Sean is when we went to Del Taco at midnight. It was a Sunday night and we were starving, so we waited until midnight, got bundled up in our hoodies, and went to get some gross mexican food because it was the only thing that was open.

Why is this one of my favorite memories? I don't know. It just was fun. I felt like I was with my best friend, not my boyfriend. We were tired and silly and I looked absolutely awful. Another good memory was Halloween. We carved pumpkins (Sean had to buy the biggest pumpkin that weighed over 20 pounds) and dressed up together as a cowboy/cowgirl when we went to the Utah State Howl party.

To be continued again... Sorry.

Our Story

When I think about blogging, it sounds a lot more exciting compared to sitting down and writing in a journal. I'm a horrible journal writer, aka: I never do it. So I've officially decided that our "blog" is going to become our "journal". I'm going to print out each post and put them in our giant scrapbook I'm in the process of making. I figured if this is our journal, I should probably tell our story. I'm not going to make this a "long story short", so prepare yourself for the "long version" because that's how I want to remember it.

How We Met:
I guess I should start way back when I was 14 and headed to EFY at BYU with my friend Monica. The first day, we met two awesome girls (Bryn and her cousin Shelby) and completely hit it off. The four of us became really close and kept in contact even after EFY ended. Bryn and I got even closer despite the fact that she lived in Colorado and I lived in Utah.  We went back to EFY together the next year, and the next, and the next. We'd also fly to each other's home towns and visit for weeks at a time. One time when we were 15, Bryn told me a story about some boys from her ward who made fun of her for something really embarrassing she did (I won't post that part). Well they made up a song about her embarrassing story, and I have to admit it was really funny. As Bryn and I were laughing about this funny experience, I didn't have a clue she was talking to me about my future husband... While visiting Colorado for New Years Eve in 2008, I met Ashley and between the three of us, a real friendship formed. When we turned 18, we decided to all go to BYU together and be roomies! I also made friendships with a lot of other people from Bryn and Ashley's hometown who came to BYU, and they would tell me all about their friend Sean Beardsley (he was on his mission in San Antonio at the time) and how excited they were for him to come home! Well, a couple days after Sean got home from his mission he came out to Utah to visit his family and attend an old mission companion's wedding. A few of his (and my) friends were meeting him for dinner at Zupa's and I decided to tag along. We'd both like to say there were sparks when we first saw each other, but there definitely was a lack of 'spark'. I thought he was really rude, and he thought I was a snob. In all reality, I didn't realize he was just being funny and teasing everyone, and he didn't realize that I was just being reserved and shy. Well, from there I'm ashamed to say I didn't have any interest in him. I'd come home from dates and find him at my apartment hanging out with Bryn and Ashley but I never said more than a couple words to him. One time he was at our place and he was being his usual, silly self and put on tons of layers of Bryn's clothes. He came into my room to show me and I just bust up laughing. He was the weirdest, funniest guy I'd ever met.

He added me on facebook, and that same day a good friend of mine got his mission call to Sean's mission. I wrote on his facebook wall that my friend just got called to the San Antonio Texas mission (when I look back, I have no idea what provoked me writing on his wall for something so insignificant, but I'm so thankful I did). He wrote me back and we talked a little bit then he got my phone number. The next day he texted me and from that point on, we texted almost everyday for hours. Texting... romantic right? Well, it almost... kind of was. We really got to know each other. I found myself telling him things most my friends and family didn't even know. He told me things he had never told anyone before either. We'd play this game where one of us would list a bunch of random facts about ourselves, then the next person would go. We'd do that for hours. He started school at BYU-I but we continued texting constantly. I was too embarrassed to tell Ashley and Bryn that I was talking to THEIR friend a lot more than they were, so they didn't have a clue how close Sean and I were becoming. I also had a friend who wrote him his whole mission and liked him, and I was currently doing the whole 'long distance thing' with another guy. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt these two people, so I really fought my feelings for Sean for months. (Side Note: This girl is married to someone else now and is very happy, and this guy is serving an LDS mission and is also very happy, so things turned out for the best). Sean would visit Utah often to see his friends and family. It was weird seeing him, because I felt like I knew him so well, but no one else understood how close we were becoming. One night we had Sean and his friend over at our apartment to watch King-Kong. It was a tough night for me because my uncle had just passed away from cancer. Throughout the entire movie, Sean made jokes that were so hilarious. He was making me laugh during such a hard time in my life. I really felt myself falling in love with him.

Our First Date:
Whew! This is becoming such a long post. Sorry.
In April, Sean asked me out for our first date. We still fight about how this happened, but I'll tell you my side. Sean texted me saying "We should go out sometime." And I responded "Maybe, you're going to have to call me up and ask me out like a man." Well he called me up and asked me out on a date. I said yes. I couldn't hide this from Bryn and Ashley any longer. I finally told them Sean and I were going on a date, and they were very surprised. Pleasantly surprised? I'm not sure. But they didn't have negative feelings either. It was just a little weird for them, but they were excited for me. Sean and I had plans to go out on a Friday night and he was picking me up at 7. I got home from work at 5, and was completely exhausted from a horrible night of camping in the snow without a tent with some friends the night before (that's a long story). So I came home from work and passed out on the couch, setting my phone alarm for 6:30 so I could have a half hour to freshen up for our date. Next thing I know, it's 7:30 and Sean is in my apartment hanging out with Ashley. I must have been really tired. I slept through my alarm, Sean knocking on the door, Sean calling me a couple times, and Ashley letting him in our apartment. Sean told me much later on he thought I was standing him up. I totally wasn't. I jumped off the couch, ran to the bathroom, got ready and we left on our date. It was an extremely awkward beginning to our first date. I felt awful, but I was also humiliated I slept through everything. Things got better, we went mini-golfing at Trafalga. We were finally alone and able to have our 'texting conversations' in person. It was really nice. I felt like I'd known him for years. We went and got ice cream after, then sat in his car in front of my apartment for hours... literally hours... talking about everything you can possibly imagine. I shared things with him that amazed me. He made me feel so comfortable. It was at this point that I realized he became my best friend. He knew me better than anyone. At one point of our conversation we were talking about eye color (like I said, we talked about everything). I told him how jealous I was of his blue eyes. I've always wanted blue eyes. He said "Your eyes are pretty. You're my brown eyed girl. Uh! I mean THE brown eyed girl." Now, one of our many songs is "Brown Eyed Girl". Finally we went into my apartment and watched Transformers while he fell asleep with his head on my lap. I was smitten.

How We Grew Apart:
After our first date, we spent a lot of time together. We went to a foam pit with a few of his friends, sister, and brother in law. I was extremely intimidated that he was introducing me to family already, but that's just how Sean has always been. His family comes first. If they didn't like me, he wouldn't have spent another second of his time with me.

After the foam pit, we all went to In-N-Out Burger to eat. A guy came up to me and asked me out right in front of Sean. I knew I liked Sean but I still wasn't sure how he felt, so I had no idea what to do. I kindly turned him down and told him I wasn't interested. After seeing the relief on Sean's face, I became really glad I said no. While he was in Utah, we also went 80's dancing with Ashley and one of his friends. When we got there, we found out they only took cash and all I had was my card. I had cash in my car but Sean paid for me and I payed him back as soon as we were done. While walking out of the club, we were handed weird fliers about a 'girls night' that Sean made fun of. The next day, I climbed into my car to go to school, and I found the cash I paid him back with and the weird 'girls night' flyer on the ceiling of my car in the sun roof. It really made me smile.

80's dancing! I promise Sean wasn't high. 

Over time, we didn't really move forward, things came to a standstill. Then in May we started to grow apart. We both got busy with school, he found a couple girls at BYU Idaho, I kept writing and skyping my 'long distance guy'. I guess we didn't necessarily grow apart, but we just got busy. We still texted here and there, but things just didn't move forward. Then one day, he asked me, Ashley and Chloe (another good friend of ours) to visit him in Idaho. We went in the beginning of June and had a really good time. I felt like I was back with my best friend; things were completely normal. We went go-carting and played at an arcade. That's when Sean first saw my love for arcades. Now he takes me almost weekly.

Anyways, when it came time for us to leave Idaho, we said goodbye and got in our car. Sean ran after me, pulled me aside and said "I'm coming to Utah tomorrow, can I take you on a date?" I got really excited, but I played it cool and said "Sure". The drive home I felt like I was floating. Ash and Chloe were teasing me, but I couldn't even hear what they were saying.

The next day we had our first kiss...
To be continued... (because I have things to do).